Make Marriage a Joyful Adventure at Any Stage

Even with the best of intentions and committed faith, many Christian couples still experience disconnection and conflict. Sticking to our default patterns won't lead to the healthy relationship we desire. But what if the journey to a connected marriage in the present and future could start by learning from our past?

In With You in Marriage, David and Tara Van Dyke offer Christian couples a transformative approach to building deeper connection and lasting partnership through principles from family systems theory, relational research insights, and foundational truths from Scripture.

This comprehensive guide moves beyond surface-level advice to help couples understand how their past family patterns shape their present relationship dynamics. Through the practical WITH framework—Widen your perspective, Inhabit your process, Transform your presence, Hone your purpose—couples learn to create new, healthier relational pathways while staying grounded in their own identities.

In With You in Marriage, you'll learn how to



- Differentiate between the cultural scripts you've inherited and the values you choose together;

- Break generational patterns without rejecting your own story;

- Strengthen intimacy through deepened emotional and spiritual connection; and

- Develop relational maturity across all seasons of life.



Including real-life stories of diverse couples navigating different stages of marriage, this book provides both the theoretical foundation and practical tools needed for genuine transformation. Thoughtfully designed tools and activities throughout the book will help couples break old patterns, deepen their connection, and build a shared life of purpose together.

Whether you're engaged, newly married, celebrating decades together, or working through a challenging season, With You in Marriage provides depth and practical wisdom to strengthen your marriage in every season of your life together.



Tara Van Dyke is a certified birth doula and childbirth educator who finds great joy in working with couples to strengthen resilience and coping skills for their most challenging and sacred moments in life. She is the author of Welcome to the Adventure: Guidebook for a Positive Birth. She and her husband, David, cohost the With U Podcast, focused on relationships and life transitions, and lead marriage and parenting seminars locally and internationally. She is the mother of four adult children and lives in the suburbs of Chicago.



David Van Dyke (PhD, University of Georgia) is professor of marriage and family therapy at Wheaton College, where he also serves as director of the MFT program. He is a marriage expert with over twenty-five years of clinical and teaching experience. He completed a family systems and health fellowship at the Chicago Center for Family Health and holds credentials as an AAMFT Clinical Fellow and Approved Supervisor. Together, David and his wife, Tara, host the With U Podcast and lead marriage and parenting seminars for churches and communities. They have four children and live in the suburbs of Chicago.



Part 1: Widen Your Perspective



1. Finding a Framework that Fits



2. Identifying Default Family Patterns



3. Considering the Contexts

Part 2: Inhabit Your Process



4. Attending to Individual Needs



5. Growing through Relational Stages



6. Responding to the Environment

Part 3: Transform Your Presence



7. Expressing More than Words



8. Building Trust and Safety



9. Choosing Deeper Connection

Part 4: Hone Your Purpose



10. Casting a Shared Vision



11. Turning Values to Action



12. Marking the Way with Meaning

Final Words and a Blessing



Appendices: Additional Resources for Support



Acknowledgments