People-Pleasing Pastors

- 12th Annual Outreach Resource of the Year Recommendation (Leadership)

Pastors and church leaders often fall into the trap of people-pleasing. Charles Stone?s research on thousands of pastors and ministry leaders demonstrates the dangers of approval-motivated leadership. Bringing together biblical insights and neuroscience findings, Stone shows why we fall into people-pleasing patterns and what we can do to overcome these tendencies. With practical tools for individuals and teams, Stone offers concrete resources to help you and your leadership minimize people-pleasing and have more effective ministry.



Charles Stone is lead pastor at West Park Church in London, Ontario, and founder of StoneWell Ministries, where he coaches pastors and church leaders, applying neuroscience insight to spiritual leadership. He is the author of 5 Ministry Killers and How to Defeat Them, and he can be found online at charlesstone.com.

Foreward by Ed Stetzer


Acknowledgments


Introduction: My Personal Confession
Section I: The Problem of People-Pleasing in the Church Today


Chapter 1: Has the People-Pleaser Virus Infected Your Leadership?


Chapter 2: What Makes Leaders Sick?


Chapter 3: The Key to Health: A Strong Leadership Immune System
Section II: The Solution


Chapter 4: The Rearview Mirror Look: Probe Your Past


Chapter 5: The Search Within: Revisit Your Values


Chapter 6: When Relationships Get Knotted Up: Expose Your Triangles


Chapter 7: What?s Missing: Search for Your Gaps


Chapter 8: Nitpickers and Stone Throwers: Engage Your Critics


Chapter 9: Self-Care: Nurture Your Soul through Mindfulness


Chapter 10: Are Your Reactions Showing?: Tame Your Reactivity


Chapter 11: The Placebo Pastor
Section III: The Leader?s Toolbox


Appendix A: The Seven-Day Personal Development Plan


Appendix B: The Eight-Week Team Development Plan


Appendix C: Research Methodology


Notes


About the Author

"Dr. Stone tackles a topic that ministry leaders nervously joke about but rarely take seriously. People-Pleasing Pastors is an important resource for every ministry leader. Supported by research and made relatable by personal stories, this book will challenge and propel you to lead more authentically and effectively."



"We all do it at times—but we easily overlook it or do not try to figure out why. This forthright book does that for us, with strong particulars."



"I wish Charles Stone's new book, People-Pleasing Pastors, had been available to me as a pastor twenty years ago. His proposal that many pastors lead from the perspective of wanting everyone to be happy and that "it's our job to make sure that we as pastors please everyone" resonated with me. I think it will do the same for many pastors today who are seeking to understand the intersection of who they are and the challenge of working with people in and outside of the church. Stone skillfully identifies critical gaps that prevent pastors from leading well and then offers authentic insight on how to close them based on his own thirty-plus years of pastoral leadership."



"Charles Stone writes about a topic that every person and leader needs to be aware of: people-pleasing. He shows the problem and offers seven practical principles as solutions to overcoming people pleasing. The principles are full of wisdom and insights. Reading this book will allow you to become a better leader. I personally enjoyed and would recommend reading this well-written book."



"Refreshingly honest and practical, People-Pleasing Pastors is an excellent tool for self-evaluation. Dr. Stone delivers insightful, empathetic help to all of us who deal with a very common struggle in ministry—the need to please. As one who can relate, I highly recommend this book."



"People pleasing is a trap in which many people get caught—especially Christian leaders. As a counseling ministry to Christian leaders, we often see this tendency underlie many of the difficulties that bring pastors and missionaries to us. Dr. Stone combines solid biblical principles with principles of neuroscience and family/organizational systems to show how people pleasing develops, how it impacts the people-pleasing pastor and those the pastor tries to please, and finally, how to overcome it. I highly recommend this very practical book."



"Charles Stone is a gift to the body of Christ, and so is his latest book, People-Pleasing Pastors. As I read through the pages I was personally convicted. Who doesn't want validation and appreciation for our efforts? We are human after all, right? But Charles's book reveals the dangers when a healthy need of appreciation goes too far. His extensive research of over twelve hundred pastors gives us insight into what Christian leaders have known intuitively but few talked about—we are serial people pleasers. Thank you, Charles, for highlighting this problem and giving us hope for a solution."



"We are not called to please people so that we can achieve a more secure identity. We are called to love people out of the secure identity that we already possess, the one that was bought for us through the redeeming work of Christ. People-Pleasing Pastors acknowledges a real problem, and helps equip those in ministry to resist the temptation of seeking the approval of people above all else."



"If you've been a local church leader for more than about five minutes, you know there is a fine line between serving people and pleasing people. And under the pressures of ministry it's often difficult to discern that line. Charles Stone brings profound insight and practical wisdom to help us approach leading and loving others in a healthy and productive way."



"We all need to be reminded of who we're really working for as pastors. People-Pleasing Pastors needs to be read by every pastor, especially the ones that are still fighting the urge to please everyone around them. Charles is a great leader himself and has written a helpful book on a much-needed but seldom-discussed topic!" weniger anzeigen expand_less